{Day 24} Real Marriage Part 1: Am I Really Doing This?

I've swung like a pendulum over how to start this series of posts on "Real Marriage." 

A sane and rational person wouldn't dare write about something as sacred and monumental as marriage without having an armload of thoughtful conclusions and expert advice. 

Apparently I am neither sane nor rational. And I'm definitely not an expert.

I am simply a real girl-turned-woman who met the love of her life and said yes to his proposal 18 years ago and I do 2 years after that. I married for love and I meant it to last forever. I had not a shred of doubt that it would.

Today I am just a real wife who is still married to the love of her life...

But only because of Grace.

I know now that I hadn't a clue about love and marriage, sacrifice and compromise, grace and forgiveness. Neither did he. 

Our story is a beautiful mess. 

And it's only beautiful because it's being redeemed by the One who called us to one another 16 years ago and called us to Himself before the foundations of the Earth. 

So why am I scared half to death to write these posts? After all, everyone loves a good before-and-after story, a tale that was once harrowing but is now happy. 

To be honest, we are still somewhat limping off the battlefield. But instead of battling one another, we're now a united front.  Weary? Yes. Hopeful? Absolutely. Still healing? Very much so. 

And because we're still healing, I entertain competing voices about whether it's wise to even write on this subject. 

There is the good and safe wife on one shoulder telling me that it would be foolish to "go live" with this one. Wait until you can speak from a place of hard-won wisdom and job-well-done-ness, she urges. 

And on the other shoulder I hear the real {and perhaps crazy} wife telling me to speak now. Wait too long and you may lose the rawness and realness that comes from proximity to pain and struggle, she counters. Some hurting soul may need your hope today. Just speak. 

I don't have the brilliance, training, or platform that an expert may bring to the table. 

I only have my story. 

And while I'm not really telling our story in its full trajectory and detail, I can tell you what I'm learning as we journey toward healing together. I can write hope. 

There's a song we've sung in church for years now but its words have become "a calling" of sorts for me recently.

Rise up women of the truth
Stand and sing to broken hearts
Who can know the healing power
Of our awesome King of love

From one broken heart to another, I can tell you this. There is Hope. 

Hang on. 

Real Marriage Part 2: When You're Struggling
Real Marriage Part 3: On Little Things
Real Marriage Part 4: The Myth of Quality Time
Real Marriage Part 5: Laugh It Up
Real Marriage Part 6: Get Back to Dreaming
Real Marriage Part 7: Choose Life, Even When It's Falling Apart

{Click on the button for the list of all the days 

and topics thus far.}