Sunday, March 1, 2009

The Tyranny of the Tiny

Last Sunday a friend of mine was in town and spent the evening with me. She is cool and single and has no children.

As she was gathering up her things to leave, she found this.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It's the world's smallest toilet tank," I replied, suddenly realizing how very odd my life must seem to her. The only toilet tanks she sees are ones made for regular-sized people, with regular-sized bottoms.

This toilet tank fits only one bottom. A bottom that is exactly 3mm in circumference. You know her name.

Polly Pocket.

Often, as I am tidying up my home or helping my kids clean their room, I am struck by the miniscule oddities that surround me. Sometimes I laugh, as I did when my friend came upon the tiny toilet tank.

Other times, I want to find the nearest noose. (Not for Polly, of course. That would be cruel and sick and macabre.)

Because when all the stuff is out of control, life feels out of control. And sometimes all this tiny stuff makes me feel like some sort of freakish mommy giant, trapped on the set of Honey, Who Shrunk Everything...Except You?

My vacuum's canister could be a Polly Pocket shoe museum. A lint-covered version of a Tiny Imelda Marcos's closet.

Tiny food. Tiny toiletries. Tiny strappy shoes.

Tiny Anakin Skywalker

Tiny Lego "cookie." 

Tiny Lego car

Brownie is very skilled in the art of Lego. This is a "spider car" he assembled, comprised of 193 tiny pieces.

And of course Lego cars inevitably break. And of course Cupcake eats the Lego crumbs we never found when cleaning up. And of course I dig out the drooly Legos while Cupcake cries and bites my fingers and curses me with his unintelligible Baby curse words. And of course I curse under my breath that he is eating Tiny inedible things. Again.

What's my point? I don't have one. 

I just pray that the Tinies will never band together and rise up in rebellion. For if they do, freakish mommy giant is done for.

There's a Blogger glitch with commenting right now. They're working on it. I've disabled the word verification feature, which will hopefully help. Give it a try. I do so love your comments!

Snaps to my mom who gave me the title for this post one day as she marveled at the sheer tiny-ness of Polly's shoes. And the sheer number of them scattered about my house.


  1. thanks so much for giving me a name for the things happen around here-legos, starwars light sabers (like the size of a toothpick!) and tiny barbie shoes are found here, there and everywhere. Now this mommy giant is getting out of the house!

  2. LOL! This is one of the reasons I have only one kid. I'm afraid to be outnumbered in case of a rebellion. We don't have many legos or star wars pieces, but Indiana Jones and Playmobil Egyptian stuff are slowly taking over my house. Tiny little whips and idols and maps and mummies pop up in the oddest places. Thanks for the laugh. The toilet is hilarious.

  3. I love this and can totally relate! Thank goodness we are post the Polly Pocket stage. That little fashonista was driving me insane! We still battle the legos though. Thankfully they tend to stay in my son's room so at least I don't step on them in the middle of the night!

  4. AMEN! I certainly hope they don't band together! We have them running aorund our house too. You know the teenie tiny purple sparkly jacket that sticks to your foot after your morning shower, the miniscule high heel stuck between your toes... yep, same here!

  5. My little guy has eaten plenty of tiny things. The worst for me is stepping on them. Especially the little beads my girls have everywhere. Ouch!

  6. Your blog doesn't like me commenting for some reason. I try several times before it will actually show me a secret code to enter.

    Those little things are forbidden in my house. No legos. No polly pockets. YUCK. I loose my mind just thinking about legos. And thankfully baby girl has not discovered Polly Pockets.

    I remember when a good friend of mine got married and had kids (way before me). She said that she never again would complete a whole sentence or thought. I have remembered that for years. Her kids are almost grown now and here I am with 10, 9, 7, 4 year olds.
    Love ya and see ya tomorrow.
    I have to speak tomorrow.

  7. Love this post . . . the pictures just crack me up! I just don't know who thought making things this tiny was a good idea. (They make your Barbie's shoes from 30 years ago look HUGE!)

    You know, of course, there's a spiritual lesson in here somewhere. It's the little things that often take us down. Too many little things and you've got one big pile of it.

    Love you forever,

  8. Lovely way to present tyranny :) how real.
    The tiny things are often what oppress us, eh? I suppose motherhood is no exception. But luckily you will always have a vacuum as your defense!
    excuse me,
    kk-shhhhhhh (flushing tiny toilet)

    Love, Ruth

  9. Oh please post a pic of that tiny mangled dog that I dug out of the garbage disposal. I am laughing so hard right now just thinking of it. That tiny toilet tank would be a prized possession in my house. Send all your tiny stuff here, it would have a place of royalty with the girls. And to think it all started the day she was in the grocery store and spotted that tiny Gerber baby on that tiny "stage 1 baby food" jar. I have been plagued with the tinies ever since!


Share your thoughts?


Blog Widget by LinkWithin