Thursday, January 8, 2009

Why?

Proceed only if you want to hear the mundane musings of my ADD mind...

Why does my 13-month-old refuse to eat anything off his high-chair tray but gobble up all the junk he threw off the tray once it's on the floor and covered with lint?

Why do I go to Wal-Mart and spend $115 only to realize the next day that we are out of toilet paper and therefore forced to swipe ourselves with Papa Johns napkins?

Why is it so hard to get a freaking shower?

Why will Trader Joe not come to my town? Why does he force me to stock up on his amazing and reasonably-priced delicacies only when I am visiting locales so very far from me? Doesn't he know I am his #1 fan? Doesn't he know I could single-handedly keep a local store in business? Doesn't he know how much I need him in my life?

Why is my naked and unlit Christmas tree still in my living room on Jan. 8th?

Why is my daughter apparently the only 7-year-old in the universe not allowed to watch Hannah Montana? And why do I feel like the most tyrannical mother in the world as a result?

Why do I have aberrant yet frequent fantasies about being on Broadway...when my reality is the lackluster life of a 35-year-old homeschooling mother of 3 and all the mess and mayhem that entails? Maybe I should just entitle my life. Hmmm... Les Miserables? Wicked

Why did Jerry Seinfeld and not me turn mundane musings such as these into an award-winning, bazillion-dollar-revenue-earning sitcom? And my own musings just sit in a blog that I'm pretty sure only my mom reads? 

Off to get that elusive shower...hopefully.




14 comments:

  1. Don't feel bad about no Hannah Montana. I can one up you, we canceled our cable last month to save on money and brain cells. It was a hard withdrawal the first week and now it's not noticed.

    Feel proud to stand against what "everyone" else tells us we should do/have. I also am probably the only one in the universe that has a cell phone only for emergencies.

    Good luck!
    Jan

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  2. You are too funny. Wanna come over and look at my unlit Christmas tree on Jan 9th 'cause I'm pretty sure it will still be up!! I'm shooting for Christmas decorations down by Feb 14th! No kidding! I really am! And I also figure if I leave them up long enough they'll fall down or someone else will get sick of them and put them up. Sounds like a spectacular plan to me. Hey, I'm keeping ALL of Lisa's kids on Monday. Wanna come over and drink coffee til our eyes bug out??? I'm so hoping it's sunny and warm outside!
    Love you girl.
    Julie
    www.homeschoolblogger.com/juliestew

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  3. Oh Julie T has a blog now too. Did you know?
    http://callmewannabe.blogspot.com/
    julie (again)

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  4. Well, here I am again. Your only-reader-Mom (not even!!!) leaving another post. You, my dear, are hilarious and I absolutely love it. Humor in the humdrum, laughter in the ludicrous, a 21st century Erma Bombeck (who was my matron saint, you know). Keep it up and the mid-January Christmas decor, the lint-covered yummies for your precious cupcake, the yearned-for infrequent trips to TJ's, the less-than-squeaky clean body due to infrequent showers, the dwindling stack of PJ napkins in your bathroom, and even the drama-princess moanings due to HM bans in your wonderful house will all sink into . . . perspective.

    Love,
    MOM

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  5. I read everyone of your blog posts (it conveniently comes through my rss reader) I think you are doing an amazing job! Happy 2009! karla

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  6. My 7 year old will join yours as being the only 7 year old on the planet not watching Hannah Montana. We only have 5 channels anyway. She is also the only 7 year old not allowed to watch High School Musical or any of its sequals, although she is now the proud owner of a HSM blanket that was a Christmas present from a well meaning relative. I will say it IS nice and soft and warm!

    My tree is down, but everything else is still up, including the outdoor wreath, and I have no immediate plans to take anything down.

    Sadly, I have never been to a Trader Joe's, but the next time we're in Chicago, I'm GOING!

    And thank you for the laugh you gave when you said you were using Papa Johns napkins in the, well, in the john. :o)

    Heather

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  7. I have a 9 year old AND a seven year old that have never watched Hannah Montana, so don't feel too bad!

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  8. Dear MV,
    I will have the kids all day on Monday. 51 and sunny. So maybe we could get all of them to the park? Think we have enough seats??? Anytime is fine. Maybe late morning? I'm going to attempt some resemblance of school, if only to do math or something. Maybe reading. But maybe nothing. Then hit the park or just send them to the trampoline. There's no coffee at the park. Also, Yes I will be at WBS! It starts soon!! Love you....julie
    www.homeschoolblogger.com/juliestew

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  9. Oh Marion. I just saw your status on Facebook and then clicked over here and can't help but comment. I love the honesty in your blog - I can relate and it is encouraging to know I am not the only one. My house is still looking pretty festive even though I've had on my "to-do" list take down Christmas decorations for a week now. Half are piled on my dining room table, the other half are still up. Showers are hard to come by around here too...I told a friend the other day that if I have my teeth brushed before noon then I am doing ok.

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  10. When does your book come out!!! I've told you before you have a way of making your readers feel like they are right there with you. Luv, Deb

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  11. Hey Scooper! Came over from June's site. You cracked me right on up with this post. After I get a shower (hopefully!) and maybe get some housework done, I am going to go back and read more of your posts. (OK, it'll be at 1 am, the only time I get true quiet time!) Right now, two of the kids are playing Sorry and the baby is wanting tummy time. Oh, the life of mom's!

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  12. Hey, I'm back again! I've taken a few minutes to read some of your older posts and I have decided we are destined to be the best of buds! I am 35, (OK, I'll be 36 next month, but I'm holding on tight to my "early 30's). I have three kids, two girls (ages 10 and alomst 7) and a 4-month old baby boy. While I do not homeschool (and kudos to you! I don't think I could do it), my girls go to a magnet school of our public system, where we have to attend all types of meetings and sessions, etc. for them to stay enrolled. I also LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Disney World and would live there if it were possible. We were just there in March and aren't planning to go again for probably two (or maybe even three :( ) years.
    I often think about writing down every little think I do all day long because some people really don't get it. All of the little minute stuff that gets lost in the big stuff. But I don't. I just brew another pot of coffee and continue trying to raise healthy, smart, brave children.

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  13. Hey, I just found your blog. My name is Messy Jessy.

    Um...I have cried and laughed in less than 3 1/2 minutes of post hopping around here.

    My dh, Neat Pete, asked if I was okay because of all the wild mood swings that have ensued due to your writing! ;)

    Keep, it up.

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  14. That Trader Joe is snubbing a bunch of us cause he won't come near me either!

    Your daughter will thank you one day; I say that cause I am so thankful that my parents were so dang conscientious and wouldn't let me watch Full House until I was in 8th grade or something. (Note: tell your daughter not to tell anyone things like this when she is in 5th grade...instead of agreeing with you about how uncool your parents are they will turn it into yet another reason to laugh and make fun of you)

    And yes my tree is still fully dressed and comes on every night cause its on a timer...I bought it at a charity auction already beautifully decorated and am not about to try to redo it next year. The plan is to wrap it in plastic wrap and get it into the attic...one of these days.

    Life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful! (to rip off Nester :) )

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