Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Slaying the Loch Ness Mommy




I don't know a single homeschooling mom who keeps a clean house, day in and day out. I've heard she exists, much like the mythical Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot. People talk of her, some believe they've even caught a glimpse, but I fear she's simply legend.

Her elusiveness both troubles and comforts me. If she is real, that means it is actually possible to simultaneously home-educate and maintain cleanliness and order. Sigh. Yet another reminder that I do not have it nearly as together as I could. Or should.

But ultimately, the fact that she is probably {mostly} mythical, comforts me. It means I'm believing in the impossible. It frees me up to relax, to let go, to settle in and cozy up with a simple yet profound reality:

I can enjoy a clean and orderly home. I can enjoy my children. I cannot enjoy both of them {to the utmost} at the same time.

I choose children.


I choose to slay the mythical Loch Ness within and simply rest in the mess.

There. I've said it. I mostly believe it...but I am still making peace with my resolution.

And if by chance you are the Clean-House-Homeschooler-Loch-Ness-Bigfoot, I beg you, please do not leave a comment telling me that you exist...

It's much better if I believe that you don't.


30 comments:

  1. I LOVE it! Your pictures and your words. Shew! I'm not alone. Thank you.

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  2. Thank you for taking a picture of your kitchen!!! If I knew how, I would take a picture of mine and post it on here..so much comfort in knowing we are not alone. I love your reminders that we need grace daily. I made an effort to stop trying to tame the constant mess today and just play with my kids. It was not easy..because playing offers no immediate satisfaction to my "doing" mentality. A clean kitchen is a direct result of my work..even if it is short lived. But playing with my kids "seems" so unimportant and silly. So today, we played..all the while showing me that I really need to accept God's grace and learn to accept it everyday..little by little..until I can let go of trying to be the loch-ness mommy :).
    love, Amy

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  3. I don't homeschool and my house is a hot mess most of the time! So, I'm thinking that you are right about some mythical mom who has it all together. Regardless, it IS a choice between doing all of the checklisty stuff or just plain enjoying your kids. I'm learning to choose the latter more and more. {Came over from Chatting at the Sky}

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  4. You are my type of girl...love this post! We usually have to move books, projects, creatures and anything else off the table to have dinner. We have just gotten good at moving piles. I am such an organizer that it drives me nuts sometimes, but I have learned to embrace it (or at least tolerate it). And for some of my sanity invested in lots of baskets to scoop everything in when the doorbell rings with unexpected guests (and occasional FedEX...which makes us laugh because of how we get in the scramble mode).

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  5. Letting go of the need for perfection truly does allow for us to be in the moment with our kids.

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  6. I homeschool and my house is always spotless. In my mind. In reality, it's a big old hot mess. Ther is no such thing as having a clean house all the time and homeschooling. Can't be done. Period.

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  7. I am not a homeschooling mom, but my house is still a wreck anyway. :)
    I figure someday it will be all neat and tidy and I'll be missing the little ones who help mess it up.

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  8. My house looks like that every single day, and I don't even homeschool. I'm so glad it's not just me. :)

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  9. I love it when moms show photos of real, lived in, used up homes. I always think that the house itself feels very happy to know it's being put to full use.

    miss you girl!

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  10. I have told my husband, "I can clean the house, or I can homeschool the children, but I can't do both." Thankfully, he completely understands and wants them educated. ;o)

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  11. I love love love you. There. I've known it was true for quite awhile, but now I must proclaim it. I love you because you are REAL. I like to think that blogging helps us to become more and more real--to ourselves and our online friends--but I fear that sometimes we hide behind our keyboards and pretend to be what-we-wish-we-were-but-aren't-quite. I thank you for being the real you. I salute you for investing in your children. And I hope that you'll inspire others to follow in your footsteps!

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  12. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! I love the pictures. This is what my house looked like most of the time as a public school teacher...because I was tending to my classroom children during the day, and did not want to be a dish nazi, towel nazi,laundry nazi, or any other kind of nazi during the precious time w/ my own daughter and husband.

    And I am with you if the perfect career woman/ mother/ is out there I don't want to know about them either.

    My house is much cleaner now...but my daughter is 17 and 10 months so they do eventually learn to help out, and still do become educated...but when that happens...it's almost time for them to go... Yes, I am quickly aproaching a new season of life...

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  13. Scooper,
    I absolutely love how you are so transparent. The photos help, too.
    This post speaks to my soul so much.
    You see I've just spent a string of days in various ladies' homes preparing for an upcoming retreat. All, yes all, of them have spotless and organized homes. Only one of them is a homeschooler, but she is the exception to the rule. IMHO.
    I've homeschooled for over 10 years and she is the ONLY one whose home has ever been spotless.
    But, your post speaks to me because I know that one day it will be just me and hubby. THEN my home can be much tidier. NOW, we enjoy living in it.
    love ya!

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  14. Oh, what's that I hear? Why, that must the chord you struck with this one! And dear one, those pics of your kitchen and living area look rather nice with that little treatment you do (all ovally and blurred around the edges). And then there's Blondie, caught somewhere between Montezuma and jewelry creating . . . priceless. Dayle succinctly nailed it: "You've made the right choice."

    Love you forever,
    MOM

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  15. I've thought it before, but now I KNOW it for sure...you are SO 'my people'!!! : D

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  16. I never thought I would be one to let go of the tidyness, but I have. With 3 kids running around here all day, I just simply can't do it. I have compromised and let the house be trashed all day and do a quick tidy in the evening.
    You are not alone my friend..

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  17. I heart you more than ever for those wonderful, lovely, oh-so-real pictures of your home. They make me feel warm and fuzzy all over.

    That other woman, the one who has it all together and keeps a spotless house- pure legend.

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  18. i love it! I had a friend clean my sink once...without me asking, so it takes all kinds. Too bad the same friend can't move in with me to pick up after me and my mess. That would be SWEET!

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  19. Being real in the blogging world is not common. Thanks for sharing and making me feel a little better about my home (that I have to run around cleaning up today so it can be messed up for a birthday party Saturday). My MIL always makes me feel better when she comes in saying how she loves the lived in look of our home. She says she knows the children are living life here! You have chosen well.

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  20. I always think...when daddy gets home he can tell if we have had a good day by the mess that surrounds us. Good for you for letting the cleaning go and allowing yourself the focus that leaves you fufilled.

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  21. I think "choosing the children" is actually harder. So much less to show for it on the outside, less immediate gratification, no list item you can check off. But you've definitely chosen wisely!

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  22. wow...this is my 1st time to stop in and i am laughing outloud! your blogpost is so similar to mine from yesterday! i don't homeschool (yet:) but i was blown away by how much we have in common from your "about me" post.

    love your blog...look forward to getting to know you better!

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  23. Thank you thank you thank you!! I am the same way!! I know I can't do both and when I try to out comes the monster-mommy! I don't like her too much so I am learning to live a bit more messy and enjoy home-educating the kiddos. Oh, but to hear them laugh and giggle is sooooo much better and watching them learn something new that you would have missed focusing on 'neat and tidy' all the time. She must be mythical and I don't want to meet her either if she does exist.

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  24. Thank you! I've been trying to rid my home of that mythical, perfect creature for far too long! I agree with you...the kids are more important. Now I just have to work on making the blog envy monster go away so I spend less time there too. :)

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  25. Ahhhhh, I can't tell you how much peace your kitchen picture brings me. I now know I'm not alone. Thank you!

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  26. hi, i just started blogging..yesterday..and after i set mine up i just started clicking on the 'next blog' link and then urs popped up. i sat here and read ur blog for almost 2 hrs. i kno it may sound somewhat creepy and stalkerish, but u made me smile. ur 'make do' series really hit me hard, im a creative person - but for some reason haven't touched that side of me in a long long time. i am an aspiring teacher, substitute for now in a public school district, and i feel useless right now. my only child is a dachshund he will be one in may:), and i will be married for 2 yrs this may. thank you for being honest, transparent, real, and not being afraid to show who u are and to be proud of it. The Lord blesses those who love Him.

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  27. Good post girl!

    It is so good to know we are not alone in this world. It's funny how our mind's make us think everyone else has perfection inside the four walls called home.

    Last week I whipped my kitchen into shape and posted pics. It was out.of.control!!!

    So, I am so curious-what is the paint color in your living room because I LOVE IT?!

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  28. my midwife once told me that you can have happy children, a clean house, and some lovin' with your hubby but only 2 of these at a time! i find this very true.:)

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  29. No such beast exists. I think we should do a blog carnival where everyone "pulls back the curtain" on their homes. It's time to tell the truth. We live in filth 8 hours out of the day, but we are spending our time in the best possible way.

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